BREAKING NEWS: Local Couple Upgraded to Business Class for Flight to Japan— Comfort, Legroom, and Mild Panic Now Boarding
- kevrief2
- Aug 5, 2025
- 2 min read
MULLICA HILL, NJ — In a travel development no one—least of all the travelers—saw coming, Jen and Kevin Riefenstahl have officially been upgraded to Business Class for their upcoming Japan Airlines flight to Tokyo.
The notification arrived early this morning when Jen casually checked her email and spotted the subject line: “Your Seat Has Been Upgraded.” Coffee nearly spilled. Kevin was summoned immediately.
“We can state unequivocally that we’ve never been upgraded to anything on a plane,” said Kevin. “Not a seat, not a snack, not even a more cheerful gate agent.”
Naturally, the couple’s initial reaction was suspicion.
“I figured it was spam,” Kevin admitted. “Or maybe we were being rerouted through another country and they were buttering us up.”
Jen confirmed the upgrade was real, triggering a whirlwind of reactions including excitement, logistical anxiety, and a brief Google search for “how to act like you belong in Business Class.”
This is the couple’s first upgrade of any kind, following a long and storied flying history that includes:
The middle seat
The back row, next to the bulkhead
The seat next to a toddler with a tambourine
And the always-thrilling “non-reclining seat directly in front of the head”
As a Navy veteran, Kevin remains grounded. “I don’t care what kind of fancy curtain separates us from the rest of the cabin. It’s still called the head. Always has been. Always will be.”
Business Class amenities may include:
Lie-flat seats
Real headphones
Champagne before takeoff
A menu that doesn’t involve tinfoil
And enough legroom to do actual leg things
Their son Garrett, who is staying home to care for the dog, issued the following statement: “They’re drinking champagne at cruising altitude while I’m scooping poop. Can’t wait to hear all about it.”
More updates to come, assuming the headrest doesn’t have a remote control and an attitude.
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